After 20+ years in full-time ministry as a pastor’s wife, 28 years of marriage, 7 children, and 22 years as a homeschool mom, my life was turned upside down and ripped apart when my previously loving, faithful husband transformed into his own “Mr. Hyde”. Every foundation I’d thought secure was shaken to its core and every fear realized.
My childhood monsters of abandoned and unloved came out to play, taking advantage of the pervasive darkness that was now my every day. My bones dried up. My hope was lost.
But my God showed up before the worst began, before I’d even cried out for His help. He truly became my life source, as I faced my monsters and my failures and fears. I met the Abba Daddy God and He assured me of who I am and whose I am.
The darkness only got worse. I’ve forgotten what happiness feels like, but joy I know. There is joy and light and hope to be found, even when nightmares become reality. Even when our soul feels empty and dry, our hearts crushed, and we have no life left in us.
We can remain walking corpses and let the pain kill us before we’re in the grave. Or we can choose to be trained and transformed through our trauma. We can choose to breathe God in the darkness.
We can choose life.