12 Jan Welcome to My Brain: 404 Error
My brain is a lot like a computer with a really bad virus.
You know the ones, where six ads will pop up for every tab you open and then when you try to close one, it adds six or seven or twenty more? You try everything you can to get rid of that sucker but nothing works, your computer’s useless, and somehow your system recovery file is corrupt and there’s nothing to do but bring it in to the computer “doctor”- who tells you to wipe the entire hard drive and start over.
When my kids downloaded the Cthulhu of computer viruses onto my laptop, I chose the complete wipe. But I’m thinking that’s the not the best of ideas for my brain. Instead I choose the partial “fix” of Adderral, which at least reduces the pop ups and slows down their reappearance.
But still, this faulty computer of a brain often straight out refuses to cooperate and I’m left scrambling for the right information or the correct word that I know I know, but for whatever reason I can’t access.
404 error, file not found.
Case in point: A few days ago I’m wracking my brain trying to think of a certain word. It’s there hovering in the shadows, mocking me. As soon as I get close, it slips away. It’s not an unusual word, I know that, and it’s one I use fairly frequently. But the file’s screwed up or something because I can’t read it even though I know it’s there.
My husband gets home and I decide to ask for help.
“What’s that word for when you’re trying to validate something but then you prove it’s not valid?”*
“Do you mean invalidate?”
. . .
Um, yeah, maybe I do. And maybe I feel a little dumb that I can use a form of the word in the very question but somehow not be able to think of the word. How does that even happen?
I’ll go crazy trying to figure it out, so I laugh and decide to embrace my weirdness. Because really, what other choice is there?
Welcome to my brain.
*The validate/invalidate conversation is based on the real conversation because I can’t remember the specific word in question during this specific conversation. Which I find hilarious. Or, you know, at least worth a grin.